Part four - Sam - Her final act

We had become friends… best friends, around the middle of me being in my first band… past that and into my second one. My second band was way better than the first had ever been with some seriously talented musicians (including my future ex Jacob) and I was starting to see a path to a label maybe… if I busted my ass. So I did. We also still didn’t have enough gigs to support ourselves yet and we needed our own material… and I was the one who wrote. So busy, busy, busy. Practicing, writing, gigging, modeling (was taking on more shoots for extra money to use to publicize us a little and get our name out there.) They say if you believe in your dream, you have to work had and not be afraid to invest in yourself. So I did. And it was exhausting. My friend Sam had grown really dark and distant around this time… but I didn’t see it. I mean… I kind of did, but when I tried to reach out, she just withdrew more… so I didn’t know what to do and I was so focused on the music. She also told me that she wanted to move in with a friend that lived closer to where she worked. She didn’t drive and it was a much shorter walk, so I totally got it. I was wanting to ask my girlfriend at the time, Toni, to move in together, so this kind of worked for me too but I was a little surprised when I came home and she had just moved out, while I was out on a gig. She stopped by a couple days later and we had lunch. It was nice and she seemed happier, but it was just odd because it seemed like she was not the same friend I had known. Like putting on an act. I was confused and felt like maybe I was imagining it, so I said nothing. My biggest regret because at that point, she was still listening… maybe I could have reached her, but instead I just played along too. Pretended that I didn’t know, that she was pretending to be happy. We talked a little after that, but the calls got less frequent and then she just quit answering my calls all together. I should have chased her down… made her talk. I should have reached her. At the very least, I should have tried. Months later I got the call that she was dead. She deserved a better friend than me. And I had failed her. 🖤

https://similarworlds.com/thoughts/personal-feelings/4410556-Part-five-Sam-My-goodbye-Sam-Ive-had-a-long-time