It's not fair

It's not fair that I was born male,went through puberty as a man and grew up as one for the most part. I wish I would have been honest with myself much sooner or would have understood who I really was sooner because now I feel it's too late for me. I know my journey has started and I need to give it time but I hate myself for not figuring it out until 49. Well 48 technically but I'm 49 now. I feel like I'm too late and a lot of good time has passed me by.

I cant stand myself somedays