Friendship before and now...

When I was little, friendship is like this...

A: Oh you have the same toy! Cool. We're BFFs now! I'll go fight a witch and a dragon for you!

When I grew up, friendship is like this...

A: Oh, you're free. Yeah, let's meet. I need something from you.

See the difference? And you ask what is wrong with the world. Look inside. The answer is there.

It's rotting and people don't even realize.

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kayoshin · 41-45, M

But .. is there really a difference? As a kid you use your friends for moral support and entertainment. As an adult you use them for moral support and financial support (any kind of support that is not emotional translates to financial even if he is just helping you move it's financial support cause you don't have to pay movers). The only reason you don't ask for the financial support as a kid is because you already have it from parents. But if you grew up poor then you might already be using financial support and not realising it. When your richer friend lets you ride his bike or skateboard because your parents can't buy you one that's financial support. When they share their toys it's also financial support.
The world is not that bad, it's just we either focus on the bad or the good depending on how wee feel.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@kayoshin That's a good thought.

But I'd say the difference is seen when it's your turn to be silent. Those who can hear you when you're silent. I'd say those are keepers.

But sometimes, people only like it when you're loud. Even if you're still you and you still need people when you're quiet. Especially when you're quiet

kayoshin · 41-45, M

@Casheyane you have to diferențiate between friends and acquaintances. People who like to spend time with you just to have fun or to leech something of you are acquaintances. Friends are the people who ask big favours and give big favours, who you can talk to even if you're not in a great mood or not talk to. If they need you to be a certain way they are definetely acquaintances (people also get confused because many times they will spend more time and have more fun with acquaintances than with their actual friends).

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@kayoshin That's...enlightening.

Simple truth often unrealized. I kinda feel stupid for not seeing it sooner XD but yeah.

Tricky part. People that are acquaintances tend to proclaim it louder that they're your friends.

kayoshin · 41-45, M

@Casheyane Don't believe everything you hear :)
I learned my lesson the hard way at a young enough age. I thought i had a good dozen of friends and in a single day i learned i had 2. It was an eye opener but, while i also call people friends, internally i only consider friends enough to count on one hand.

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@kayoshin This pandemic made me realize it too. It hurts at first but now, I think I've accepted it. Doesn't mean I'm not looking for friends.

Thing is, I don't really trust people nowadays.

kayoshin · 41-45, M

@Casheyane Trust is earned, not a default. It's healthy to mistrust to a point. It's paranoid if you overdoit. I just fake it till I make it (pretend I trust people even if I don't until they either earn my trust or I cut them off). If you act distrusting all the time you just alienate all people, the good ones too (and come off cold or paranoid).

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@kayoshin I hope we find the good ones for keep :)

kayoshin · 41-45, M

@Casheyane I'm too old to look for new ones, I'm content with just having free time when I do XD

Casheyane · 31-35, F

@kayoshin But didn't you hear? It isn't over until your last breath. I don't think there's an age limit to finding good people to surround yourself with. If there is, the world is sadder than I thought.