Enjoying home and alone time sitting in the dark drinking myself stupid and popped 4 valiums pondering about my existence. It’s a coping mechanism dealing with a hard time at the moment.
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I used to drown myself in booze for fun, until I started feeling a strong suicidal compulsion whenever I drank. Years later, the compulsion entered my sober life. Now I have to wonder if the altered states brought about by imbibing alcohol brought me to a deeper awareness of the id.
