What is living

I feel like I have finally tied up all of the loose ends in my life and maybe it would be better if I wasn't a part of other's lives. I have been a useless failure for my entire life, why should the future be any different. I have caused my family stress and haven't been able to be the child they would have wanted. Every day feels the same, time seems to be flying past me, yet I seem to be going nowhere at the same time. I feel stuck and worthless and just a hopeless mess. It would be better to be gone. To be honest I don't even think many people would notice that I'm gone. Im just that thorn stuck in people draining them of life and happiness.

On the other side, I have been stuck for years now, while it seems like the medical system has failed me. I just feel like awful all of the time and it's getting harder and harder to get out of bed every morning. I haven't even bought textbooks for school because I will probably be dead by then. Im sorry for everything, I guess this is goodbye, so goodbye