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How to let go of past mistakes and regrets?

Just turned 30 this year. As I look back on my life mostly 18 yrs to now, I realized that I've wasted so much time and energy on the wrong things and people. I haven't been living life at all. I've never been to a Bar, Club, Dated, or traveled on my own, just to name a few things. My biggest regret is not going away for college. I feel going away for college would have made me more independent and opened me up to a lot of things. Wanted to go pro in football aka soccer but due to lack of opportunity and money I couldn't pursue it. Here in the U.S.A the sport was not that popular back in the days, but now there are A LOT more opportunities. If I was younger, during this time period I would have def went for it. Always ask myself what if. It hurts but its something I am trying to get over. I play pickup when I am free and currently playing in a local indoor and outdoor league. I deal with a lot of stress, depression and anxiety. Which makes me angry during games, so I get into arguments and don't play to my full potential. Through out the yrs I'v gotten into many heated arguments and rough play in games and pickup. I am known for being the one with anger issues. That has made me some enemy's and ironically many close friends. However outside the game I am as gentle as feather.

I am from West Africa and come from a very conservative and religious family. I feel that has stopped me from doing many things. Whenever I tried to be independent and do my own thing, I always get scolded by my parents. I currently live with them, I am helping them out of bills and other things. I want to move, but whenever I try they get sad & upset, especially my mom. When on Instagram I see friends traveling, clubbing, dating and living life and I am just stuck. As a Child and Teen, I was always told how gifted and talented I was. But I've wasted all of that. All I do is go to work and come home. That's not life. Part of the problem is myself, I am afraid to live outside my comfort zone. I feel if I really pushed myself, I can still achieve many things.
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eMortal · M
Did your parents brainwash you or what?! Sounds like a cult mentality.
Because nothing stops you from going out at night or visit places. Maybe money can be an issue but nothing really stops you from doing what you want.
MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M
@eMortal he said he had depression, anxiety, and a difficult comfort zone... sounds to me like it's those things stopping him; not a "cult".
eMortal · M
@MartinTheFirst yeah but the root is that his internalized values are incompatible with the kind of life he now yearn for.
TrveNorth · 31-35, M
@eMortal @MartinTheFirst I was not brainwashed lol. I did go out at night
and visit places. However when I would come home late at night they would always complain and give these long lectures about how dangerous the world is and how I need to be careful. Often gave me the silent treatment and acted like I did something wrong. So eventually it made me not want to go out anymore. The problem with parents is they listen too much to other people and often believe everything they here from other Christians, pastors and these so called prophets. I know the world is a dangerous place but that should not stop us from living life.
eMortal · M
@TrveNorth your parents are emotionally blackmailing you.
TrveNorth · 31-35, M
@eMortal In a way yes, I realized in order for me to move forward I'm going to have to disappoint my parents.