Relationship help

Here's the way it is for me, I love and respect my wife and I loved and respected my first wife and I loved and respected the few girlfriends I had over the years. The biggest problem is a psychological one. Getting comfortable with the person you're with makes it easier to unload on them whether they deserve it or not because of the closeness you feel to them. I believe it also amounts, in some form, of taking someone for granted to some degree.
I yelled and I still yell and I am very upset by it, and I'm seeing a therapist about it currently and I have been doing so for many years. There are other reasons why I'm seeing a therapist but I won't go into...I have stories that explain it.