The past couple of days got me feeling some type of way....

I’m neither here nor there...I’m not sure what’s happening but I’m losing my will to do things. I haven’t been feeling like myself but I can’t pin point the reason. I feel like I’m falling off...Like my spark is going out... I haven’t been feeling the most confident and I’m irritated with my job lately. These past couple of days, I been feeling lost and irritated. I want to pursue this guy but I lost even the will to do that. I don’t care anymore. I just simply don’t care.....Which is a bummer cause I feel it in me, I want to care but I just can’t find it in me. I feel like I’m giving up but I don’t know on what that is....I just wanna get high all the time now to calm my nerves....ive been smoking before work and during my breaks which I normally don’t do... I’ve been depressed before but I don’t expect this to be depression...? Maybe momentary confusion who knows...I just want it to go away because it sucks.