Poem... I wrote

looking back on things its not that I regret what happened my only and sole regret is that I was already about 27 by the time me and Lyssa first grew communicative and if I were forced to start over I would probably have foregone most of those relationships and simply beelined for my partner at the tender age of 14.


its funny how I adore songs by women who ask questions like do you ever wish she was me because if one of my exes asked that question while the level of tact I responded with would depend on which one the answer is a flat no.

With lani/silverrain it would be something like I adored you but I was wrong about what being with you would be like in that you gave me 2 long years of anxiety attack after anxiety attack to the point where I finally walked away and gave you the peace you asked for but would I do it again? no.

Because while I am sorry for the things the jealousy did to me I dont fully trust you after all the lies you spread about me.

If it were Annie Id say we were kids and while I thank you to death for all you gave me in the sense that I dont think I would be able to connect with women as strongly as I do today if it hadnt been for us we might not have lasted but you taught me things that I will never forget.

if were Ailey Id tell her you are an elitist little piece of shit I wouldnt take back if every other woman on the planet were dead I dont want to ever speak to you again and would literally piss on your grave, do you really think id ever long for you again seriously? after mocking my disabilities you self righteous little piece of disposable garbage?

Nurit? ... Hey look Im sorry I was upset afterwards but now that im older and have some perspective I could have perhaps changed my behavior and started talking to you and connecting the moment I got home knowing I was going to be drugged and dragged to sleep and you taught me that the littlest shit left untended to can cascade into a mountain that cost me the first love I ever felt but honestly not even you.

of the mentioned Annie was probably the only one who had implications that mattered far after we broke up enough to truly DO things over again simply because I would NOT be the person I am if it were not for her and thus FAR less capable of connecting with Lyssa.

the girl who like me didnt care for class but would write poetry all day in the class room and slack off


[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T7oqnRAUJtc].