I sat and watched the sunset tonight.

On a cold cold evening, by the water and I thought to myself: “It would really be nice to share this with someone.”

But I just sat there....content.

50% was genuine and the other 50 was because I kinda don’t have a choice. I don’t have anyone... I was third wheeling a date, in fact.

Have I learned to appreciate being alone with myself or am I just adapting to it?

Could it be both? On evenings like these it’s hard to tell.

like how the flow of the current carries the waves, my thoughts blend together..two different feelings just become one big fuzz and the you don’t even know anymore.

So I just sat there in the middle ground. I felt things but I’m not sure what I was feeling.

Numb for sure, because of the cold wind.

Maybe the cold was so numbing that it blocked any other feeling I had. That would make sense.

Emptiness is purgatory.

You’re neither here, nor there. You’re just kind of existing...in a type of middle ground. Feeling things that you don’t want to feel and seeing things but not experiencing them...therefore, you’d prefer not to see them at all.

To turn a blind eye, if you will. The outside looking in...

And just simply being over looked.