I miss my bird, I am depressed and I can't help blaming my brother for his death.

My family isn't very sociable. My sister is anti social, my brother is autistic and my mother is busy looking after the home. So I spent my time on internet at home. I really needed a friendly company. So I became depressed, irritable to everyone around me. I love birds and I bought a cockatiel from a breeder and brought him home much to my family's dismay. At first they seemed not to like the idea, then they got use to him.

I was happy around my bird, Gabby. With him, I didn't feel lonely. He was very close to me and never left my side until that fateful day. I let him out from his cage to feed him in the living room. My brother came into room and my bird saw him. Gabby used to love to fly into people's head and sit on it. So he flew towards my brother. My brother is afraid of birds flying to him and he ran to his room with Gabby chasing after him. Brother had this really irritating habit of closing doors sharply. And he did the same thing to his bedroom door but unfortunately it was when my Gabby was at door. His neck was broken and died soon after.

I broke down and never spoke to my brother for a week. My family did feel bad for me but soon they moved on. I did try to move on but I couldn't. My depression was back, I can't sleep, I am angry at my family for pretending Gabby never existed and my brother never killed him. I am bitter towards him especially when he closes the door. I thought I would be happy if I bought another bird but the breeder said there isn't any chicks left and I had to wait. I don't know how long I could keep with this boring life.