i need to talk about something

@Deadcutie recently

@Deadcutie i care about him a lot still and i was shocked and at the time the least thing i wanted to do was get the police involved. i was extremely hurt but i didn't want anything to happen to him.

@flowersindecember yeah it’s been to long.. realistically , if you don’t get it within a few days of the assault, chances of getting usable material is pretty low.. unfortunately, to many women wait to long or never get one because of its intrusive and undignified nature.. the prospect of being violated a second time is a pretty sickening experience

@flowersindecember
[quote]i care about him a lot still and i was shocked and at the time the least thing i wanted to do was get the police involved. i was extremely hurt but i didn't want anything to happen to him.[/quote]

This is going to eat you alive.

@Elegy i think it'd eat me alive either way. I wouldn't forgive myself for turning himself in and not doing it also.

@flowersindecember I understand what you're saying except that what he did is indefensible and the further you move away from it the more it's going to eat at you in ways you're not even going to understand yet. Do you forgive him for this?

@Elegy i dont know

@flowersindecember You were considering pressing charges, you have not forgiven him. You have a number of options to seek closure. You need to work with your therapist and close the gap. Otherwise something will happen, any number of things, and it will devastate you. You did nothing wrong and it's time for you to think about yourself imho. I hope this helps in some small way.

@Elegy i considered it because everybody told me that that's what i should've done. it's not what i wanted though.

@Elegy thank you though. it means a lot. ❤️

@flowersindecember Is he still in your life?

@Elegy no.

@flowersindecember Good.
What you need is self healing. One way to achieve that is pressing charges. It sounds like that's not an option for you right now so let it go. Just see to your personal mental health. You and your therapist will know how best to do that.

@Elegy thank you.