How do you manage your emotions without being fake? How do you keep it inside without later exploding on someone?

Good questions. I spent most of my life ignoring my emotions. That deadened me somewhat, though I did it believing it was helpful. Now I'm having to learn to acknowledge my feelings as a starting point, not ignoring them, then gradually I guess I will learn to manage them better. I think journalling can help, to capture feelings you have no-one to share with, that shouldn't be bottled-up.