Would you choose a person who gives you the life you want or the one who gives you the love you desire?

@SW-User Can you? Always? Then why do so many loves end up in divorce over life issues?

@SW-User because two people change over time and their wants and needs diverge. Especially when you have kids which become the main focus for (often) women and the men feel left out and unappreciated.
My husband felt emasculated by me when, sick of our situation, I re-trained and started a new career and started earning double what he did. He felt emasculated and I felt he was behaving like a third child.

@lostinspice Then love is not sustainable without life? :)

@lostinspice My ex wife cheated on me and whilst it hurt I cant hold her fully responsible. Things werent right, if they were she wouldnt have gone off looking elsewhere.

I did everything around the house and looked after the kids as well as work due to her having an operation on her back. Maybe I gave her too much time to sit on the internet I dont know.

Now looking forward I'm looking for love, I'm not rushing into anything . I have a pretty good life with my own home and car so I'm very much in the love I desire part of my life.

Love is not sustainable if you don't or no longer have the same life goals. That loveable waster is great at 19 when you're single and kidulting but not so good at 30 when you have kids and bills and can't fix the leaky roof and he's still waiting for that big break that's never coming, when you might desire someone more stable - but later you have more freedom and more security of your own you might choose someone edgier again. Your needs change over your life and not in tandem with your partner always and to say 'till death us do part' when we live so long is probably unrealistic for most.

@lostinspice Good points. Thank you.