Can I get some advice?

I am having trouble with deciphering what is "rude" and what is acceptable in the social eye. Social eye, meaning social situations between myself and another person. It always seems like we are speaking a different language. I say what I think or what I feel about the topic and I know it's possible at times my attitude might appear a bit aggressive, okay I'm working on it, but, I don't understand how else to word things besides what I think. It seems to intimidate people, and I don't know why. Am I rude?

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rfhh1959 · 61-69, M

In my opinion there is a growing population of people (on both side of an any issue) who when they hear an opinion that does not echo their feelings panic and call people rude.

Okieta · 31-35, F

@rfhh1959 now that does make sense

SW-User

You looked up the definition of rude right. You're not purposely trying to be mean or hurt anyone right. There is nothing wrong with being direct. I am. You just need a little finest. Two things remember who you're taking to. Remember you can't talk to everyone the same. Second take a second and think about whatever it is you're about to say. Just a second don't stress over it.

Okieta · 31-35, F

@SW-User that's great advice 👍 I will definitely consider it

LyricalOne · F

Would need some specific examples to form an opinion.

lily88mercy · 26-30, F

From the intelligent way you express yourself you already know the fine line between being "rude" or "aggressive" and being courteous and offering an insight or opinion in a non-offensive manner. Thus, it's a matter of choice. Some men like the inflated hyper-masculine feeling it gives them by being brash and antagonistic.....seek no further than examples given by guys playing American football or military drill instructors where intimidating others by abusive language and physical posturing is the highlight of their life.

I think you are much better than that, Mr. Slick.

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

Serious question, have you tested for Asperger's? Totally normal but inability to read social cues and body language.

Okieta · 31-35, F

@CountScrofula well I don't have that, because I can read the ques and body language fine, my problem lines with understanding "my" ways of verbal expression. I can do that fine too, but, my trouble lies with

"am I expressing things I shouldn't?"

"should I have expressed this differently? But how else could I have expressed it? I have no idea, this is how I 'feel' or think it in my head."

CountScrofula · 41-45, M

@Okieta Give me an example of something you've said that turned out to be too direct and upset someone.

Okieta · 31-35, F

.. I don't know.. can you give me an example?

Xena1234 · 51-55, F

Perhaps it is just difficult for you to communicate with the written word? I am not trying to be insulting, just saying not everyone is good at communicating with writing.

bearinthebigbluehouse · 26-30, M

Might be the autism... Ya boy here has got that too. ( ͡° ᴥ ͡ °)

Okieta · 31-35, F

@bearinthebigbluehouse is social awkwardness or unawareness considered autistic? I'm a completely regular person, everyone has issues of some kind. You might be right, but my personal feeling, being called autistic is a bit far fetched. There's a troubling backstory, perhaps being autistic is created simply by having a past of a sucky life and trust issues, perhaps we're all autistic

bearinthebigbluehouse · 26-30, M

@Okieta Weeeeeeell... I kinda just threw that word out without thinking... Maybe cats are just wired differently... It's a'ight.. ┬┴┬┴┤-ᴥ-ʔ

Okieta · 31-35, F

haha, I'm not offended, I'll look more into autism though, but yeah, you and me both

MsAnnThropy

No.

MartinTheFirst · 26-30, M

I have the same problem.

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