Sad, bad and awfully good

How are you? To be really honest and deeply personal for once, I've tried for decades almost anything to get myself out of a hole. The villain of the piece isn't really big star depression as such, because there's much more going on, but then again it causes those damn black dogs to bark at me often enough. No, what I was feeling, and still feel at times, is an almost total emptiness inside, and that occured especially when my mom died ten years ago. Now I know why and it's for sure still there, and it's because there was no-one left that loved me for the person who I was and not for the person that I either pretended to be, longued to be or they actually wanted me to be. Mind you, I do have moments of warm feeling of companionship at times coming from relationships with people who love me, but never of someone who truly loves me for the sad person that I am. I'm a very sad person indeed. I'm not going into the details of that here and now, but I'll put one fact down that kept me going. One only gets out of it by oneself. Get your strenght out of anything out there, even faith or spirituality. I went to meditate upon life in 2003 on the island of Iona, Scotland, and found tranquility there again but not yet insight. After my mom died I went back to church, for it's true that one gets more out of spending time with other people than without, and found yet more strenght deep inside myself. Now I know my weaknesses but I'm not strong enough yet. I'll post an update in another decade or so again

EditaPaperCom · 41-45, M

It can be incredibly difficult to navigate feelings of sadness, emptiness, and loss, especially when it feels like there is no one who truly understands or loves us for who we are. It is important to remember, however, that we are not alone in these experiences and that there is hope for healing and finding meaning in life again.

One potential source of strength and support during difficult times is faith or spirituality. Many people find solace in connecting with a higher power or practicing spiritual practices such as meditation or prayer. It can also be helpful to spend time with others who share similar beliefs or to seek guidance and support from a spiritual leader or community.

In addition to spiritual practices, there are also a number of other strategies that can be helpful in coping with sadness and finding meaning in life. These may include:

Seeking professional help: A therapist or counselor can provide a safe and supportive space to explore and process difficult emotions and experiences. They can also help identify any underlying issues that may be contributing to feelings of sadness and offer strategies for managing them.

Engaging in self-care: Taking care of ourselves physically, mentally, and emotionally is crucial for maintaining our overall well-being. This may include activities such as exercise, healthy eating, getting enough sleep, and finding time to relax and do things we enjoy.

Connecting with others: Building and maintaining relationships with others can provide a sense of belonging and support during challenging times. It can be helpful to seek out people who are understanding and non-judgmental and to be open and honest about our feelings.

Finding meaning and purpose: Engaging in activities that give us a sense of purpose or meaning can help to provide a sense of direction and fulfillment in life. This may involve volunteering, pursuing hobbies or interests, or setting and working towards goals.

It is important to remember that healing and finding meaning in life can be a journey and that it may take time. It may also involve trying out different strategies and approaches to see what works best for us. It is okay to take things one day at a time and to be patient with ourselves.

val70 · 51-55

@EditaPaperCom I've already done them all. Actually I coached a collegue of mine out of a deep depression last year. In a couple of years he could even become head librarian for another library where he works at now

Nibblesnarf · 26-30, M

That's tough. With nobody alive knowing and loving the "true" you, I imagine you must feel some distance between yourself and everyone else, including those with whom you have pleasant companionship. It's easy to say, "Oh, you should've been authentically yourself all along", but reality isn't always so simple or easy. For example, maybe you feared that your authentic sad moments would push or scare other people away.

Would the inner emptiness dissipate a bit if you did find someone who loved you for your authentic self? It is kind of an obvious question, and perhaps an overly simplistic one. Maybe also easier said than done. But with you having laid that out as a core issue (possibly among several), I read "One only gets out of it by oneself" and have to wonder whether you're doubling down on a doomed approach.