I Am Sad

I am actually depressed and want to die. I am trying to decide if it's just my hormones or if it is an actual desire. Usually I can tell but not so much right now. All I want to do is cry and my feelings are flat or non existent. I am at work, I want to quit. Don't get me wrong, my life is not bad by any means, I just want out.

What do I need to do to want to again? Where do I find the want to? I know all that is within me but I struggle with desire. I lost interest and now just go through the motions. My meds can only do so much, maybe I should see a therapist but I just don't know if that really is the answer. I know my life is on me and I am the only one that can turn it around. It's not hard it's just not worth doing in my mind anyway.

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Plain

Trying therapy has got to be a better option than killing yourself. Also , do you have any close friends you can open up to?

mljenkins · 51-55, F

@Plain I actually opened up to a few people this past week, for what good it did.

Plain

@mljenkins it didn't help at all ? If not, any idea why not?

mljenkins · 51-55, F

@Plain I just don't care so much any more, and I was explaining my behavior to them so they wouldn't feel any type of way because of how I was acting.

Plain

@mljenkins are they close friends?

mljenkins · 51-55, F

One was my brother, the other a very dear friend

Plain

@mljenkins can you see light at the tunnel , any hope for a time when you feel happier than now and glad to be alive?

mljenkins · 51-55, F

@Plain There is no light, I will continue to push through my days as other people need me to

Plain

@mljenkins try therapy? It's helped many to find a source of light at the end of the tunnel.