fucked everything up hm?

usually i spend a lot of time writing these, i like to make them reach people, make them feel. but this time i feel too much. i fucked up, so much so i dont see a good end to this, trust me i tried so hard. im taking a nice bath with my handy razor and a bottle of rum, like my favorite song goes "drown every single one of your thoughts in old, stolen rum, learn to love the taste of it dripping down your throat, find comfort in the warmth coming from your stomach, your drinking bottled love now." i know many people will tell me oh! but your so young you have so much time or life to live dont fuck it up over one mistake, and yeah sure, you could be right, but ive lived with depression since i was seven, had thousands of little shitty things happen to me and big, ive gotten worse and ive gotten better, i think i know when its time, if i survive then thats a sign and ill try again, but ive had enough. thank you everyone, for reading this, even though you dont know who i am or anything about me, i appreciate being heard. goodbye now. have a good one- from your dear poet- shinju