He was upset that I didn't respond to his "goodbye" message and didn't send him one to reciprocate but

Doesn't he know that I can't revisit things that hurt me too much? I told him that in the past. I have told him before that I just cannot bring myself to do it. I am very avoidant when I'm in pain. I cannot confront the pain.

I did not want to say goodbye. It was too painful. I did not believe it when it happened. I could not even read his "goodbye" message. It was too overwhelming. I did not read it past the first two lines. And I never will. I cannot cannot cannot repeat all our memories in my head because it hurts too much.

He thought it was rude. I tried to tell him I didn't want to say goodbye. But he didn't want to speak to me and didn't want to hear anything.

He said his heart is not in this relationship anymore. I kept begging him. He finally stopped responding to my pleas.

He became so cold.

I want to unalive myself. I cannot go on with life.