I’ll always remember him though I officially said goodbye

I will always remember the love of my life Sujeet kumal jha but I let him go for his sake. He has found happiness with his wife and he told me goodbye in an affectionate loving way. He wanted me to please take care and have a good life. He asked me not to write him so much but what he meant was not at all because he never answered any of my emails and messages ever again. I wanted to continue staying friends after our breakup. We were good friends for a few months after our breakup. He thought it was not a good idea because his wife I assume they go married pretty soon after ( then fiancee/girlfriend) would feel suspicious and have different thoughts about their relationship. Even when I told him about my cancer he never responded. Luckily it’s almost completely gone and it was caught in early stages but I still felt angry he wouldn’t even ask me if I was ok. I realized I had to let him go so he could be happy as hard as it was for me. I broke up with him too because I thought I didn’t deserve him after my mental breakdown and I felt guilty for in the past sometimes not paying him enough attention and making him feel unloved and ignored when I got depressed. I also felt a little lonely in an online relationship. Though that wasn’t his fault as he tried to pay me as much attention as he could and he showed me gentle patient love. Neither of us had enough money to see the other in person. He didn’t get paid much at his accounting and finance job. I wasn’t making any money and didn’t finish my online courses that were vocational courses which could have taught me skills to secure employment because I got confused and stuck on some of the learning content and final exams. ( luckily I have lifetime access so I can still finish) . I should have finished college/ university and gotten at least a bachelors degree. I only acquired an associates degree at community college. I would have had much better career prospects if I had a bachelors and masters degree and truthfully I miss learning at university for personal enrichment as well as career advancement. I also like learning about different subjects and activities as part of informal education. Anyway, sometimes I still cry because he is gone but I realize he is happy and living his best life as far as I know. He loved me once but things did not go the way we planned. I probably will be single for the rest of my life because going through another heartbreak just seems like too much. It’s been two years since he last contacted me and my heart still aches. We broke up two years and eight months ago in mid July 2023. So almost three years have passed. Well nothing can be done now except to try to live as best as I can without him and just feel love for our memories we created together.