I Don't Like Goodbyes

Goodbyes can be hard to take but there comes a time when you need to clear away the wreckage of the past like it or not. I married very young, age 22 yrs. That's too young really. After seven years and two children together my wife had a brief affair and left the marriage abruptly when I found out about it. I became a weekend parent and paid child support until my (now adult) children began to support themselves. The marriage is now redundant. We have no common interests and no mutual friends. Our respective families of origin have either dispersed or died. We have divided our property fairly and are both on good terms with our children but there is nothing mutual about it. My parenting experience has been a solitary one for the last 35 yrs. Whenever I talk to my EX about getting a divorce she will panic and I don't understand why. We simply have nothing left to lose. Neither of us can move on with our lives until it is done but she is resistant to the idea and she has the power to cause me trouble if she wants to. All I want is painless recognition of the actual status of our defunct marriage but she will not talk about it. How do I bring her to agreement on this?

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Divorce her anyway.
There's no reasoning with the unreasonable.
You need closure yet it suits her to keep you in a state of uncertainty.
That ensures she has power over you and that's not good.

Threepio

IMHO...

You don't bring her to agreement. After 35 years; at this stage of the game she is comfortable with the status quo.

If you want the divorce her you simply need to file for it. As you said you "have nothing left to lose". You just have to decide whether her "power to cause you trouble" outweighs your desire for future happiness.