Kinesics - the study of body language and facial micro expressions
- like language , how reliable is it ?
- is it worth paying attention to ?
- is it worth paying attention to ?
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Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
It’s amazing how much people accidentally give away in body language and word choice. I’ve been able to predict not only if a person will quit their job, but about how long before they do, just from their body language in watching them from across the room. The manager of the place was amazed that I was only off by 2 days in the 3 week prediction.
OogieBoogie · F
@Zaphod42 wow ....that's pretty damn good!
What do you pick up on ?
I'm mostly fascinated by human interaction - and manipulators.
I know a few.....and I am in awe of their abilities.
And yet, I have no idea how they do it 🤷
I watch as others bend around them and bow under - and I wanna understand it ...from both sides .
What do you pick up on ?
I'm mostly fascinated by human interaction - and manipulators.
I know a few.....and I am in awe of their abilities.
And yet, I have no idea how they do it 🤷
I watch as others bend around them and bow under - and I wanna understand it ...from both sides .
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
@OogieBoogie I can only get a good read from a distance where I can take in their entire body language. With her it was her arms crossed in front of her (defensive and withdrawn) and then putting her hands in her pockets (disinterest in the work). Then when she had an interaction with a fellow manager, her face kept showing little ticks of disgust.
To me it was pretty obvious she hated every part of being there.
To me it was pretty obvious she hated every part of being there.
OogieBoogie · F
@Zaphod42 interesting .
Esp that part about disgust.
I was watching an interview recently with a expert in this field - and they mentioned "disgust" -.how it's a core expression to look for - it's a primal response thing , and it can flittingly surface before other expressions - or even kind of 'accent' expressions .
Like a smile can be underlying accented with disgust if you know what to look for .
Does it fascinate you that you see these aspects ?
Esp that part about disgust.
I was watching an interview recently with a expert in this field - and they mentioned "disgust" -.how it's a core expression to look for - it's a primal response thing , and it can flittingly surface before other expressions - or even kind of 'accent' expressions .
Like a smile can be underlying accented with disgust if you know what to look for .
Does it fascinate you that you see these aspects ?
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
@OogieBoogie Human interaction has always fascinated me, but it’s almost in the way an alien might study one. I’ve never fit in…never understood these interactions, so studying them helps me get though those moments easier. I don’t have an official diagnosis, but I’ve tested for a high likelihood of ASD. I suspect that makes it easier to see these things in others at a distance. Up close I can’t see it all, so I rely heavily on word choice and micro expressions to get the underlying meanings in conversation.
OogieBoogie · F
@Zaphod42 ooooh!
I THINK I TOTALLY GET THIS !
Although maybe not as well as you do .
It took me a long time to realize how widespread lying is .
And that we lie to ourselves .
And that people deliberately use it to 'negotiate' people...or 'pull their strings' so to speak .
And that people hide so much 🤷
And although I know now people do this - I still don't truly understand the need to manipulate/compete/undermine/seclude - others and desire to be 'in control '.
To me it seems ....exhaustive ? pointless ?
Like - if you need to coerce or trick people into believing you, or being your friend, or working for you ....is any of it real ?
And surely a you shouldmt have to coerce friends ?...workmates?
I sometimes feel I'm on this wavelength that no one else is surfing ....and I'm watching from an angle that no one else stands at.
Or that they are all playing to some se of rules that no one told me about .....and I'm the only one who doesn't get the aim of the game 🤷
I THINK I TOTALLY GET THIS !
Although maybe not as well as you do .
It took me a long time to realize how widespread lying is .
And that we lie to ourselves .
And that people deliberately use it to 'negotiate' people...or 'pull their strings' so to speak .
And that people hide so much 🤷
And although I know now people do this - I still don't truly understand the need to manipulate/compete/undermine/seclude - others and desire to be 'in control '.
To me it seems ....exhaustive ? pointless ?
Like - if you need to coerce or trick people into believing you, or being your friend, or working for you ....is any of it real ?
And surely a you shouldmt have to coerce friends ?...workmates?
I sometimes feel I'm on this wavelength that no one else is surfing ....and I'm watching from an angle that no one else stands at.
Or that they are all playing to some se of rules that no one told me about .....and I'm the only one who doesn't get the aim of the game 🤷
Zaphod42 · 46-50, M
@OogieBoogie That resonates so much with me! I still have to actively remind myself that people lie, and not to take everything at face value. And I’ve never seen the need to defend myself to others…believe me, or don’t. And if you don’t then we were obviously never that close anyway. Probably why I haven’t ever had many friends, and currently I have none 🤷♂️
OogieBoogie · F
@Zaphod42 OMG ...neither do I 😂🤣
Well no ...I do have one I blessingly met last year ...and she's on the spectrum - and its like this breath of fresh air that someone in this mad world actually gets me🤗
That im not slowly going insane from feeling like the only sheepdog in a field of sheep 😂
But I hear ya.
I have no problem pulling new people in and connecting with them, and connecting them to others.
But it's what happens next that I now watch:
-Will they appreciate being included ?
- What will they do with the connections to people that I've helped them achieve ?
- will they still stay themselves, or will they start to morph into a pack?...a clique ?
- will they fall under someone's control ?
And most of the time ......I watch them quickly lose who they are. It's like all the edges that gave them their shape get shaved off so they'll fit nicely into the slot they have been allocated .
I've learnt not to be sad about it .
But it's still a shame .
Well no ...I do have one I blessingly met last year ...and she's on the spectrum - and its like this breath of fresh air that someone in this mad world actually gets me🤗
That im not slowly going insane from feeling like the only sheepdog in a field of sheep 😂
But I hear ya.
I have no problem pulling new people in and connecting with them, and connecting them to others.
But it's what happens next that I now watch:
-Will they appreciate being included ?
- What will they do with the connections to people that I've helped them achieve ?
- will they still stay themselves, or will they start to morph into a pack?...a clique ?
- will they fall under someone's control ?
And most of the time ......I watch them quickly lose who they are. It's like all the edges that gave them their shape get shaved off so they'll fit nicely into the slot they have been allocated .
I've learnt not to be sad about it .
But it's still a shame .
