Accumulation of Thoughts

Over the course of this week, I have had thoughts in my head that I wanted to explore writing about, or at least thinking about. I like to challenge myself to write different things, as I will probably end up writing a book soon. It is a goal I have, and I have a story in my head that I have mulled over for a while that I like.

What is it to be charming? What does this really mean? Many people list qualities they find charming, but could I overshadow those qualities I have simply because I am quiet, and that makes people uncomfortable until they get to know me? Do attractive people get more leeway when it comes to being charming?

Is my heart good enough to be broken?

Attraction and beauty. I really want to explore this more. As I age and learn more about myself, I see more and more how the standards set by society don’t line up with what I see and feel. I also have a hard time seeing myself in a good light and overcoming what I was taught as a child. Why is a physical feature on someone else something I like so much, but on myself it is the worst thing? I feel like I want to understand what others see better.

Should I try to build relationships with my family when they haven’t tried to build them with me? When we get together, everything is fine, but now it’s only funerals where I see anyone. I don’t want to be the only one trying all of the time, but I guess I am not trying either, though I think with a few I did try in the past.

Should I open an Etsy shop and try to sell some of my photos?

I am really loving a deep navy blue with sage color combo for my clothing. Also, I am in desperate need of something new, but I’m losing weight, so I should wait.

Anyway, these are some of the thoughts I have accumulated this week.

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brainrapist · 31-35, F

I think charming is pretty much associated with conventional beauty and extroversion. I feel that, oftentimes, those that are “charming” are only that way outwardly. Some have secrets, some aren’t as good as they portray, some aren’t so interesting and lack depth.

All hearts can be broken if you allow yourself to love. Romantically, platonically, familially.

I’ve often found beauty in others that I’ve not been able to accept about myself, whether physically or otherwise. It’s hard to accept that parts of ourselves can be or are beautiful when we’ve been conditioned to see or feel otherwise for so long.

If you want to strengthen relationships with family then you should take the steps to do so. If you’re not met with interest or effort, then you know how to proceed from there.

Yes, if selling your art is what you want to do and you are prepared to do.

That’s a beautiful color combination. Deep navy blue is one of my most favorite colors. It reminds me of the night sky or the ocean.

I understand this post was more of a journal entry, but there’s my unsolicited response.

DeadOrbit

@brainrapist You are welcome to come, share ideas, say how you feel, do whatever. I like interactions and learning from others.

It’s hard to accept that parts of ourselves can be or are beautiful when we’ve been conditioned to see or feel otherwise for so long.

What do you find beauty or attractive specifically in someone else that would wouldn't about yourself?

brainrapist · 31-35, F

@DeadOrbit I’m not sure if I can point out very specific features or if it’s a combination of all of them. I think, in some sense, there may be a bit of dysmorphia mixed in but I don’t like to self-diagnose. An example would be if a woman would wear clothing but I think the same thing looks terrible on my body. Sometimes there’s cases where I look at myself and see beauty, but then I don’t see it in photos of myself. I don’t know. Sometimes it’s not necessarily physical things either.

Sazzio · 36-40, M

Yes! I once wrote a book, realised the mistakes and re-wrote it to make it a whole lot better. Unfortunately on 2nd attempt didn't get a chance to try n get it published.

We all see it; write a book and hope for fame, stash, up there with celebs, seminars for motivational speech and sat opposite Ricky Gervais or Jimmy Carr interviewing you for an hour on the comedy shows.

DeadOrbit

@Sazzio I don't think I care about fame as much as I do about finding a way to connect and bring people happiness, as well as share a part of me while i do it.

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