"We need brotherhoods and sisterhoods in our community. We need to care for each other more"

I think it is interesting how my first reaction towards those sentences was fear.

I immediately backed away and thought of protecting myself ..sisterhoods, brotherhoods? Even your own blood can poison you here.

There are things that will likely be buried with me if I were to die among you. Things I dreamed about and longed for. And things that broke my heart to a dozen pieces.

Sometimes, I come close to saying the words out loud, thinking someone else should hear them, hoping they might hold more than just the echo of my own mind.

But who knows?

Maybe those echoes are the best-case scenario.
As isolating as they sound, they might be the gentlest outcome I can hope for. A soft and willingful abandonment as opposed to a betrayal I already survived more than a decade ago and must experience again.

Society is not for me.

It hurts less to be needed by the selfish; those who only know how to take, than to be the one who needs, the one who wants.. and it hurts even more to harm yourself and others with your selfishness.

And there is selfishness in everything. Even in only relying on being needed and never reaching out to be loved or saved.