Do you have a hard time letting people be there for you?

As most my friends here know I’ve severe PTSD. Fireworks are a major trigger for me. Most of the time I can work through the triggers but sometimes I can’t. Last night was a night I couldn’t & I don’t know why but I couldn’t wake up Papi to tell him I was struggling.

So I did my best to deal with it alone which didn’t work to great and I just ended up hurting Papi more than myself because I couldn’t turn to him ☹ he knows me but he has never seen me in that panic triggered mode before and after everything he did yesterday for my boys and our family he was sleeping peacefully and I didn’t want to wake him and have him worried so I didn’t which led to a very long sad heartbreaking conversation this morning.