I don’t understand my feelings about him

And it’s hard to be honest with myself and him. Obviously not being honest with myself would get in the way of being honest with him. And also obviously not understanding my own feelings makes it hard to be honest with myself.
He keeps mentioning how knowing how each other feels is important. I feel bad not being able to be transparent to him. And he notices when I’m quiet.
We have only texted, not even talked on phone. I’ve told him that I don’t think that is a good basis for deep feelings. But he doesn’t seem to believe me. We did try to take it to video call once but I kinda broke it off because of my doubts. I thought we would be done a few times already but in a day or so he reaches out again. And I take the bait because the feeling of being wanted and liked and the potential that it could be good and my doubts are wrong And I keep having romantic fantasies about him. Help, I’m having nervous breakdowns over this.