The power and peace of moving but never getting there...
There's something interesting about driving and not being at your destination but just thinking and I remember when I was really young, I just would be driving back from my grandma's house or something. I would just be in the back seat, and I'd look at the moon; it felt like I was limitless in that moment, like I could just be there and nothing else really mattered. You know, like you feel like you're in a movie. You see all the cars passing by. You see the scenery changing and the music is playing and you just feel like you can do anything. And I think it's about that state where you're moving, but you haven't made it to your destination. You haven't gotten to the place that you're supposed to go, but you're in the middle of the journey. And there's something about life where we're always looking forward to that adventure to that journey to accomplishing. And it's like that in-between state is where I feel the most at home.
It's almost like actually accomplishing the thing is kind of scary. And what's also scary is not thinking about ever doing that thing. But that place where you can dream about it and think about it and imagine it, that is where it feels the most comforting. It is the most inspiring and just driving it feels almost timeless. It's kind of like this, I don't know if this is the right word, like this lineal state this in between the place before you get there and you aren't worried. I sometimes wish I could always just be going somewhere but never get there. People say the journey is the best part. And that's kind of what I want to hold on to, you know, like when people are driving you somewhere and then you just kind of get in some way lost in your thought, lost in just looking at the road and seeing things and you start thinking about what life could be like, what things could happen. And it makes me optimistic and it also makes me reflect and I just think about how long that moment feels and how I just want to stay in it. I want to stay in that state of reflection and dreaming but also kind of just moving at the same time. Moving but never getting there.
It's like you're always chasing and that almost sounds like in some sense like torture, right? You're always trying to get that thing, but you never get it. Like that doesn't really sound quite right. But in this scenario, in this moment, it's like your imagination is limitless and you can think of so many things that could happen for yourself. But as soon as you make it to wherever you're going, that imagination, you know, just stops. It's over. You then move on with your life. Once you get to wherever you're going, whether you get home or you get to the location, then that imagination ceases and then you come back to reality. And I guess that's why I never quite want to make it to wherever I'm going because it means I lose that state of mind. I lose that sort of situation or position where I can be boundless. And it sounds kind of small because all you're doing is you're just driving. You're just in the passenger seat just looking out the window, just thinking.
But even when I was little, I always liked those moments. I always liked just being able to sit still like you're in the car and you're not moving, but everything that you're looking at is moving past you. And it's that weird situation where you're not physically moving, but you see the world just going past you. And that's why it feels so freeing because it's like you don't have to do anything. It's like you're there, but you're just observing it. And you're allowed to sort of take part in it, but not have to, I guess, worry about it. So, it's that state of viewing moving or at least seeing things change in front of you but not necessarily moving yourself and also not really reaching your destination quite yet by being in that in-between state and that is where I feel the most free. Boundless.
I remember thinking when I was like in fourth grade you know I should write something about this. I'm not sure if we had like a paper we had to write or something where I was like, "What's your favorite thing?" And that's what I wanted to write. I think I ended up writing something like, "Okay, my favorite thing is I like to play football or whatever" because I wanted to downplay being viewed as an academic kid and seem more sporty, I guess. But I guess like the more philosophical or just the more simple thing is it is just those moments where you're just going somewhere, but you haven't made it yet. And that is the best part.
That is really the best part. Maybe even about life. And I don't know to some extent maybe it's wrong to just want to dream about things, just daydream. But that is something I guess I do quite a lot. Whether it be, you know, before I go to bed when I'm just lying in my bed, just thinking. Or maybe if you're like you're in class and you're just bored, you just daydream about life. Sometimes, I even do at the gym between sets. But weirdly enough, you feel the safest in your mind. You feel the most safe in your head. And I guess although your head can be the thing that sabotages you and ruins you, it's like these opposite realms, like it can be horrible to live inside your head, but also it's like the most comforting place to be sometimes. So that kind of comparison is interesting.
But what is I can enjoy the journey and find that place again. That place when I'm driving where it feels
limitless, where I'm not there yet, but like I know that I could get it. And it's also like the situation where I'm not anxious about it either. I'm not anxious to get to the destination. I don't want to get there. And I'm not afraid of the destination, but I'm so happy in that moment in that in-between state that I don't care about what is to come. I just want to remain there. And I think the more that I can find those moments and really do my best to hold on to them in some way, those moments of limitlessness, that is what I think truly is what embodies living in the present.
It's really about that experience that everyone talks about living in the present. So maybe I have lived in the present even though I was both in my mind but actively experiencing life at the same time. But I think if I can figure out how to find that place or maybe even if I don't induce that state but something like that then I think I will be much more at peace with my life.
It's almost like actually accomplishing the thing is kind of scary. And what's also scary is not thinking about ever doing that thing. But that place where you can dream about it and think about it and imagine it, that is where it feels the most comforting. It is the most inspiring and just driving it feels almost timeless. It's kind of like this, I don't know if this is the right word, like this lineal state this in between the place before you get there and you aren't worried. I sometimes wish I could always just be going somewhere but never get there. People say the journey is the best part. And that's kind of what I want to hold on to, you know, like when people are driving you somewhere and then you just kind of get in some way lost in your thought, lost in just looking at the road and seeing things and you start thinking about what life could be like, what things could happen. And it makes me optimistic and it also makes me reflect and I just think about how long that moment feels and how I just want to stay in it. I want to stay in that state of reflection and dreaming but also kind of just moving at the same time. Moving but never getting there.
It's like you're always chasing and that almost sounds like in some sense like torture, right? You're always trying to get that thing, but you never get it. Like that doesn't really sound quite right. But in this scenario, in this moment, it's like your imagination is limitless and you can think of so many things that could happen for yourself. But as soon as you make it to wherever you're going, that imagination, you know, just stops. It's over. You then move on with your life. Once you get to wherever you're going, whether you get home or you get to the location, then that imagination ceases and then you come back to reality. And I guess that's why I never quite want to make it to wherever I'm going because it means I lose that state of mind. I lose that sort of situation or position where I can be boundless. And it sounds kind of small because all you're doing is you're just driving. You're just in the passenger seat just looking out the window, just thinking.
But even when I was little, I always liked those moments. I always liked just being able to sit still like you're in the car and you're not moving, but everything that you're looking at is moving past you. And it's that weird situation where you're not physically moving, but you see the world just going past you. And that's why it feels so freeing because it's like you don't have to do anything. It's like you're there, but you're just observing it. And you're allowed to sort of take part in it, but not have to, I guess, worry about it. So, it's that state of viewing moving or at least seeing things change in front of you but not necessarily moving yourself and also not really reaching your destination quite yet by being in that in-between state and that is where I feel the most free. Boundless.
I remember thinking when I was like in fourth grade you know I should write something about this. I'm not sure if we had like a paper we had to write or something where I was like, "What's your favorite thing?" And that's what I wanted to write. I think I ended up writing something like, "Okay, my favorite thing is I like to play football or whatever" because I wanted to downplay being viewed as an academic kid and seem more sporty, I guess. But I guess like the more philosophical or just the more simple thing is it is just those moments where you're just going somewhere, but you haven't made it yet. And that is the best part.
That is really the best part. Maybe even about life. And I don't know to some extent maybe it's wrong to just want to dream about things, just daydream. But that is something I guess I do quite a lot. Whether it be, you know, before I go to bed when I'm just lying in my bed, just thinking. Or maybe if you're like you're in class and you're just bored, you just daydream about life. Sometimes, I even do at the gym between sets. But weirdly enough, you feel the safest in your mind. You feel the most safe in your head. And I guess although your head can be the thing that sabotages you and ruins you, it's like these opposite realms, like it can be horrible to live inside your head, but also it's like the most comforting place to be sometimes. So that kind of comparison is interesting.
But what is I can enjoy the journey and find that place again. That place when I'm driving where it feels
limitless, where I'm not there yet, but like I know that I could get it. And it's also like the situation where I'm not anxious about it either. I'm not anxious to get to the destination. I don't want to get there. And I'm not afraid of the destination, but I'm so happy in that moment in that in-between state that I don't care about what is to come. I just want to remain there. And I think the more that I can find those moments and really do my best to hold on to them in some way, those moments of limitlessness, that is what I think truly is what embodies living in the present.
It's really about that experience that everyone talks about living in the present. So maybe I have lived in the present even though I was both in my mind but actively experiencing life at the same time. But I think if I can figure out how to find that place or maybe even if I don't induce that state but something like that then I think I will be much more at peace with my life.
26-30, M
