I don't see what I went though as a gift. My childhood was horrible. I lived in fear every time I had I tic I just wanted for my mother to hit me. Or worried she'd take my food away Most of the time she would. I was scared and hungry all the time.
@ScreamingFox I don't think my life is worthless. I have 3 amazing kids that are everything to me. I just don't think what I went through as a child made me a better person or helped me become a better person. I think I made things worse. I have bad anxiety, bad OCD and tourette's. I never got the help I needed to help me cope in any way.
@SinlessOnslaught Yup. Even my scientific brain has no rational reason, "why"... And I've experienced a lot of death, a lot of harshness and darkness. It's not the fairy tale version of a gift, it's the raw truth that each of us has to face to find and assign the meaning. Something is keeping us alive beyond a cellular level. I may not know what it is, but I don't intend to waste it.
