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Whenever I'm tired i have terrible thoughts

I don't exactly know why
I'm not talking about terrible ideas or anything but i always think over awful things that have happened in my life and i put all the blame on myself and convince myself its true

My dad passed away almost exactly 10 years ago and i can't help but feel responsible for it even though i was really little, i still find a bunch of ways to make it sound believable in my mind
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Been there, the guilt, everything. Mine died in 2008, my guilt is bc i wasnt there when he passed, i thought i had a little time.

I know it doesnt mean much, however its not your fault, not mine, or anyones. It diesbt fet easier either, but we get used to a bit of that pain.