Thoughts? Maybe I’m wrong….

So after his son living across the country in a van for eight months and not seeing him, I felt bad for my son’s dad. He was crying he missed him. When we got back I’d hoped he would actually do something with his son than sit around watching tv and bossing him. But that didn’t change one drop.

Last time he stayed and I picked him up, my exs Mom told him if he didn’t say goodbye to them he couldn’t stay the night. My son being eight and asserting himself, didn’t say bye. He doesn’t have to talk to his grandpa at all anyway because he’s such a jerk to him. My ex knows that.

So now he’s asked me to stay with his dad again for a night, so we call his dad. And he really won’t let him spend the night because of this rule his mom made up 😆 He said he can hang out with him while he works then I can come pick him up 😆 So great he can now ONLY watch you sit on your fat ass in front of a screen….

Isn’t that kinda dumb?

Isn’t that withholding love?

I’m taking my son to the water park instead.

Nevermind I’m tired and have shit to do, I’ll always stick up for my son. It’ll probably be what kills me because I never get a break.

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WhateverWorks · 36-40

I think it’s petty.wrong of the grandparents and it’s good you took him to go do something fun. It doesn’t really sounds like he’s welcomed/appreciated there anyway or a great environment. Water park sounds better.

At the same time I believe saying hello/goodbye is just good manners regardless of who the person is and to intentionally not say goodbye is quite rude, nit something to be encouraged as a form of asserting one’s autonomy. If he knows he’s being intentionally rude then… maybe it’s important that he understand the rudeness is why he wasn’t invited over. He’s old enough to start learning that all our choices have consequences.

RebelFox · 36-40, F

@WhateverWorks The reason I’m sticking to this one is because its a privilege that they even get to see him. My brave boy, at 8, faced his abuser and faces him every time he goes over there. He is not required to speak to his grandfather at all, that was made clear before my son ever went to his dads house again. His dad lives with his parents. They’ treat all their kids and grandkids like crap. Yelling and insulting. So no, I don’t care if he’s a little rude about their assertions. He’s been more than forgiving to see his dad. My son is polite to everyone but it’s not expected of him as a rule. He’s just sweet on his own. Fuck them.

WhateverWorks · 36-40

My point is that little kids don’t really make a distinction between it’s OK to be rude to these people because of ABCD grown-up logic, but not OK to be rude to other people. Nevertheless, I agree with you that the grandparents sound like they suck. All in all, the solution seems to be that has not let him be around dysfunctional people like that in general @RebelFox