I just hate it

She told me that I perform when I come in and I seem to have this attitude where I’m afraid to not talk, but I don’t actually talk about anything deep or painful which is true because I feel like I’m holding on by a thread. She said that I keep looking at the clock. I can’t help it. I just don’t wanna talk and it feels agonizing, sitting in a room and being forced to talk about things. And she said if I keep avoiding it I’ll never recover, I’ll relapse essentially