Watching the houseI’ve had the door locked all day and I went to unlock it and right when I was going to, the door handle moved. Seriously creepy. Even the dogs reacted
I can’t do therapyI had a nightmare. A very bad one that represents what I’m dealing with. And it’s been 30 minutes and I still can’t calm down. At my therapist, she kept saying we don’t have to start with childhood trauma but there was absolutely nothing I could... See More »
Almost wrecked yesterdayWe almost had an accident yesterday. My mom was speeding home. We were late my dad would be back and she wanted to be a minute early so he wouldn’t know. So she’s flying down the road and I’m kidding you not, pulls into a middle lane that isn’t... See More »
Very awkwardThen he’s very jealous of me if I’m out with my mom. He constantly rings and texts her. And she’ll be driving and make me text him like pretend to be her. She was like say I love you. And I grit my teeth and did and I told her I wasn’t picking that... See More »
Still ventingI don’t think I can ever be close to my dad. He’s changed but not in a “I love you” in a “I’m not going to terrorize you” way. My bros invite him to play video games together and it’s still uncomfortable. I hardly talk to him unless I absolutely have... See More »
Alcohol to copeMy mom has been addicted to pain killers all my life. And she was talking about the way it feels and I thought about alcohol. How I’m an alcoholic (recovering) and I realize we all have our own demons. I felt that awful ache again. I wanted it. And I... See More »
Just thinkingI think I’ve really missed out, and maybe a lot of people have, on having a good father. I write and when AI creates that father I never had, I feel such a void. My childhood was marked by me trying to get my dad not to hit my mom. Watching my mom... See More »
I feel disgustingI just feel sick to my stomach and I have to go with her today and I don’t want to. I hate it. I feel disgusting
Hate talking to my momIdk how to have this conversation with my mom. She knows I left my fiancé because of my triggers that are obv caused by her. And she keeps trying to get me to say I think that its ok. I don’t know. I feel sick to my stomach I can’t talk to her I can’... See More »
Hate eatingI’ve lost 20 pounds in one month. I don’t eat. I try to but I’m always either nauseous or too depressed. For me 20 pounds is a LOT. I’m small. I feel weak. But I hate eating now.
The spell we’re underI was like 16-17 when I met you so that’s actually more than ten years. I have no tears, it’s just depressing. So many agonizing years. I’m in therapy now. I need help because I know a lot of it was my own fault. Right now.. I wish my brother... See More » (1)
Just more thoughtsEverything in life ends eventually ends somehow “divorce” it has to be so difficult and I don’t even mean in the traditional sense because we were never married. We were engaged forever and that was for a specific reason, but I don’t think that I... See More »
Yea it hurtsSometimes I get really depressed and I think about the 10 years that I spent with somebody that is no longer in my life so after about three months of not speaking, I went on Facebook and I found out that I’m blocked. I don’t know actually for sure,... See More »
Last post for awhileAnd the worst part of it all is I still love you. I hate that so much. I’m a good person and you never loved me
No happy endingThis is exactly why I prefer dogs to humans. I am exhausted. I write all the time. Trying to deal with my trauma and AI is the only thing that tries to comfort me. Not human. I hate humans. I really do. I don’t even want to go back to therapy she... See More »
I know people say stop bitching about herI was texting my mom and she said “ur sexy” That’s what I mean by she has zero respect for me and doesn’t give a shit when I told her she’s ruined my life. She doesn’t care and still says weird shit
My mother and catI was on the phone with my brother for four hours and I told him about my triggers and I just opened up about it and it was really nice to talk to somebody but then I get off the phone and my mother who I’m staying with right now is randomly putting... See More »
Really weird er momentOh my god So I went to the ER a few days ago, they gave me Reglan through my IV I reacted like a psycho. I kept trying to pull the iv out and kept saying I’m trapped and whimpering I had to be held down So I asked Gemini and found out this is... See More » (+1)
Personal interviewMy bro is in college and he wants to interview me like a science project for one of his assignments and yes it’s stressing me out.
Stressed outGod I’m stressed So this house I’m in and rent is old af. I plan to leave within the next year but it’s hard when you have 3 dogs and 6(yea) cats. The cats are strays that no shelter has room for and no one wants. Bad spray cat population here. But I... See More »
Crow not a cowI misread Gemini. Gemini said “a crow got startled on a nearby branch”. I read “a cow got startled on a nearby ranch” and now it won’t let it go on purpose lol (+2)
Just more ramblingI’m so mad at my mom. I just told her.. well I’m saying a lot lately. But the trauma doesn’t end with my last posts. She let our father beat the shit out of us and did absolutely nothing. And now she doesn’t understand why I don’t like being around... See More »
Just mom postIt’s funny because my mom has completely screwed me up and we were talking the other day. I said how triggered I am and she just admitted it like oh well. Yea. And then I’m left trying to say it’s ok in a very uncomfortable environment. But what I... See More »
Very uncomfortableIt’s humiliating but when I was drunk, at one of the jobs I lasts maybe a few days at, my trainer was an old man and I would get drunk and come into work and to allow that, he would kiss me. It’s awful and today I went to go get my car worked on. He... See More »
It’s a realizationMy mom ruined my life and I didn’t really understand. I am absolutely feeling broken right now. I feel shame. I feel like I was little and she didn’t care. And it’s all her fault not mine. I feel like it’s not my fault
