I’m not ready

Therapy brought up such horrible shit today. And it was only just the start. I honestly begged her to not talk about it, but she said she’s going to push me a little because I won’t talk about anything at all and now I’m home thinking about everything that she said and feeling massively depressed. It’s not really fair that I cant say I’m just not ready. I’m forced to be in therapy to stay in my alcohol program