Getting Therapy
So after weeks of not hearing from the therapist office or my doctor office regarding my request for therapy, I've decided to seek it independently. It is expensive but it is my hope that I will be able to actually improve myself as a person.
I set goals already. I want to stop hating myself and learn to love myself. I want to improve my ability to form meaningful relationships and love others more deeply. I want to feel more secure in my identity and sense of self. I want to unlearn angry and hateful thought patterns.
I'm also doing some of the work already. I have a playlist of therapeutic stuff to listen to and have been practicing mindfulness. When I start going down a rage rabbit hole and thinking of KMS or being extreme in other ways I remind myself that this is an old thought. An old pattern that does not serve me anymore. Maybe at one point such dramatic responses were helpful in coping with an extreme and dramatic childhood but now it only hurts. I can let it go.
Anyway, hopefully things get better.
I set goals already. I want to stop hating myself and learn to love myself. I want to improve my ability to form meaningful relationships and love others more deeply. I want to feel more secure in my identity and sense of self. I want to unlearn angry and hateful thought patterns.
I'm also doing some of the work already. I have a playlist of therapeutic stuff to listen to and have been practicing mindfulness. When I start going down a rage rabbit hole and thinking of KMS or being extreme in other ways I remind myself that this is an old thought. An old pattern that does not serve me anymore. Maybe at one point such dramatic responses were helpful in coping with an extreme and dramatic childhood but now it only hurts. I can let it go.
Anyway, hopefully things get better.
36-40, M
