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Is this narcissistic behaviour?

I’m sorry I know I have written this before but I’m actually wondering now if this sounds like a narcissist. I feel so sad and confused. I met a guy who was so nice and sweet. He was so respectful and kind to me. He wasn’t perfect but he seemed to be a pretty great guy. We eventually got into a relationship. This last month has gotten me so confused by his sudden changed behaviour. He went away for work and it was his birthday. I said can we video call after you land and he said yes. I had a cupcake and candle and I was going to sing happy birthday to him. 1 hour has gone passed and I texted him what was going on and he said I’m having dinner with workmates can we chat later? Which upset me but I didn’t say anything to him. We were hardly talking while he was away and I even said to him do you even want to be with me? He said he does but work has just been so busy. A few days go past and we talked on the phone and told me he misses and can’t wait to go home to see me. I was going through a hard time too because my mum was having surgery a few days later to remove cancer and he knew I was sad and worried about my mum. Two days later after telling me he misses me I get a text at midnight telling me we shouldn’t see each anymore because work is going to be busy for the next few months and he will be away a lot. I then try to call him after him telling me that. He responds with I will call you tomorrow I’m going to sleep in which he didn’t call me the next day. I asked him could we talk about it when you get back and he said yes. I asked him do you still miss me and he said he always does. Sometimes he would say he doesn’t know. We were suppose to meet up but he changed his mind and didn’t keep his word. It was like he was just playing mind games with me. After he broke his word I stopped texting him. I was just keeping in contact because I thought we were going to meet up to talk about it like he said he would. What broke my heart too is he knew I had his birthday presents waiting for him which I got rid of now but he just didn’t care. I don’t understand how he could be so cruel to me. I always showed him respect and the thing is he was so kind and respectful to me in the beginning too. He was encouraging, supportive and he made me feel beautiful. How does someone just change like that? Especially when I literally did nothing to him. I give him his space, I’m not clingy, I genuinely cared about him and I’m just so hurt and confused by this.
SW-User
Not sure about a narcissistic category, but he’s definitely being selfish.
You need to try and stop contacting him. He’ll likely keep disappointing you.
summerlove · 31-35, F
@SW-User I haven’t contacted him. He has just gotten me so confused by his behaviour. He went from a really nice guy to a cruel one, I’m so confused by that.
SW-User
@summerlove I know and I’m sure…
So sorry.. 😕
Fairydust · F
I’d let that one go, some just like to play games and keep you dangling.
SW-User
Well not sure about narcissist but probably was just how he appeared in the beginning... Some people seem super interested but it's the novelty... Then change... And be themselves 🙁I've hace had that happen to me and was quite disappointing
anglais · 51-55, M
Sounds to me like he's got someone else and is keeping you hanging on in reserve in case it doesn't work out. Don't put up with that kind of inconsiderate, selfish behaviour. Be strong and have nothing more to do with the idiot. You're worth more than that. Good luck 🍀
SW-User
So, when someone tells you they don't want to see you because they are too busy for you ....there's nothing left to discuss ...you just need to be done with them and move on and meet someone who values you and your time ...eff that noise ....
reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
sounds like he has someone else in his life. my guess is this: when he met you he also was casually getting to know someone else online, maybe someone who lives far away so he opted for you as a more logical choice but then oportunity came knocking and he was sent to this person's city so he decided to meet this person for the first time. they hit it off. he didn't want to take responsability for his actions so he lied. now he's avoiding you because lying face to face with someone is a lot more awkward.
How many times do you need to repost the same post??
@SW-User she has been posting same thing again and again
summerlove · 31-35, F
@SW-User I reposted the same question because I was asking about the behaviour displayed and trying to make sense of it which is something I haven’t posted before.
summerlove · 31-35, F
@RemovedUser618272 I haven’t been posting the same thing again and again. I posted this question a few days ago in only 2 different categories because I was feeling sad and just wanted different perspectives on why I was treated that way. This question was the only question I posted since then asking if it seemed like narcissism. I’m just hurting at the moment and trying to make sense of things because he ended things through a text message, not even a phone call and then after he said we would meet up to talk about things he goes back on his word. So I’m just really hurting at the moment.
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Jessmari · 41-45
Sounds more like a flake than a narcissist.
Dan193 · 31-35, M
Yes,now leave him and dont look back
Isthisit · F
Lucky you got away from him when you did. His true colors started showing....Best to just forget about him. You dont deserve to be mistreated like that.
basilfawlty89 · 31-35, M
Not necessarily.
Narcissists usually lovebomb.
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