Killing myself

Why? Many things. People would probably see them as small things but still.
I miss my bsf. Idk if she's alive tbh.
A depressive episode is hitting me like a freight train rn.
Everyone ignores me, online, irl, I barely get acknowledged now tbh.
My dad hasn't really been helping tbh.
I got sa'd again on my birthday and been having dark thoughts ever since.
Its like 2am for me rn. My all my family is asleep rn so they won't notice me sneaking out. I'm taking a knife, sturdy rope and a small bottle of bleach with me.
If none of those work then idk.
I've said my goodbye to the only person to ever make me feel loved, that being my bsf.

To my friends who are on this website. It's not your fault, you didn't know, you couldn't do anything. I'm sorry