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AdultUpset
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Suicide gone wrong

Well not the worst ‘gone wrong’ story of suicide survival out there but my life is definitely spiraling into out of control havoc now.
Was supposed to drown in the Iowa River, shortly before the dam and what is commonly called a drowning machine.
I’ve endured too much verbal abuse, financial abuse, and mental abuse from my separated parents that I simply couldn’t take it on top of my complex ptsd. So I left Sunday morning. I stopped at the gas station to buy liquid courage to give me the boot in the ass to drown myself. Unfortunately the police were called, and my father (one of my main and biggest abusers) was notified. He pulled my location from me being on the phone plan and him being a provider of that. So he found me first.
Instead of starting my car and driving straight into the embankment, or even booking it on foot. All I could think about was getting away from him. I couldn’t deal with more verbal abuse, not right then and there. I sped away in my shitty old car, with him in my tail in his new Audi. I spun out only 3 minutes later. Totaled my car. Bystanders who parked bear witness to his high-all-mighty attempts at spinning his own story and the lies that followed afterward. I was tackled face first into the ground by my 190 pound father, after I was trying to get back into my vehicle to safely be away. I broke my right wrist in the ordeal, and have many bruises. I now am impending a OWI in my state. I will go to jail even as a first time offender- although it was not in my plans to start my vehicle once I was parked by the river. Although that doesn’t matter because I ultimately did, and my crashing could’ve harmed many.
I’m much more determined to be successful in my next attempt.
Life is wild. I’m tired of wild.
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funfan · 46-50, M
OMG A!!!!! I can only hope the SW community chimes in to offer all the love and support you need right now.

You are NOT killing yourself!!! NO WAY!!! Your life is way to precious to so many here, including me.