Did you know chronic suicidality is a coping mechanism? [I Thinking Suicide]

So when your brain automatically thinks I should just die in response to pretty much any stimuli, it's supposed to be a coping mechanism. A really bad one, if you ask me. Why do I have to sit here and contemplate the merits of my whole life because I'm late on one task at work. Like is leaving my two kids motherless, whole family without financial support, comit myself to a mental institution, abandon everything and just walk into oblivion just because of a very normal and expected delay? I'm not even getting in any kind of trouble because my boss knows she's been asking too much and I'm only human. But apparently my brain decided if the words dont flow properly and fast into paper I'm worthless and need to die . 🧠