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What's it like not thinking about killing yourself everyday?

I've had suicidal thoughts since I was 11 and I'm 44 now. I tried to OD once and often wish I had been successful in that attempt. I've had loads of therapy and different meds but the suicidal ideation is always there. I've often wondered what it would be like not to have those thoughts take up so much time.
it's kind of like worrying about the people you care about actually doing it every single day.

I don't but I live with people who want to. I've never known life without suicidal people in my orbit.
[@1195753,WeeWeeWeeAllTheWayHome] yeah my mom. and i'd be really fucked right now if she went through. Still trying to take care of a fewe things to prepare for life when shes gone.
[@10406,BetweenKittensandRiots] My thoughts are with you. That's really sad.
I've wondered the same. I've been suicidal since I was 12. I've had therapies for longer than you are old, and the thought of leaving this world is [i]still[/i] predominate. It's not the horrible event most people make it out to be. It's going to be glorious. I'm looking forward to it more than anything.
Dadbod52 · 56-60, M
We all have a mortality, so when I get up I check and see what’s sore today.
LetsGoBrandon · 31-35, M
I think about it all the time over my mistakes.
[@860047,BeatMySelf2Pain4Perfection] I do that too. It's exhausting sometimes.

 
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