I Lost Someone To Suicide

A couple of months ago I lost a friend of mine. We had known each other 8 years roughly. He went though a hard time and committed suicide. The night he went missing I searched my entire town looking for him. It was almost midnight. The next morning his body was found.

I know I shouldn't blame myself for anything but ... I will always having a nagging voice in the back of my mind telling me I should of looked longer. I should of double checked certain spots. I should of tried harder. But I know that's not the case. I wouldn't of found him this was meant to happen.

I find living without his nerdy ways difficult and weird. It is something I will learn to deal with. I will continue to miss him everyday though.
I won't never forget him.
He will always be a part of me.