I Have Social Anxiety And Its Made Me Lonely

One lingering trait of what I self-diagnose as social anxiety is that I attach far more substance, significance, and sentimentality to passing interactions than is really there or is ever reciprocated. As a result, I often feel as though a relationship has been lost, changed, or damaged when in fact, no relationship by conventional standards ever even existed. The awkward thing is the feeling of loss seems real to me, even though I have developed a filter that helps me realize I am a hostage to yet another social anxiety "episode."

I feel sad because I go through the dynamics of loss that I can't explain in a way that doesn't make me look childish and tragic. I used to bottle-up that feeling to protect myself; now I journal it. I can't share it. I wonder if that is one more thing that keeps me apart from others. No one understands...