Are you social or not?
I'm not. For lots of reasons.
One is that almost all the people I know (basically people at my work) are coupled and there's a subset of work people who are regularly social with their partners.
As I'm single, I would feel very out of place going out with people from my work since I'd be by myself and they'd all have their partners and they'd all be doing 'couples stuff'.
The other main one is my shiftwork. I've been a railway shiftworker since 1990, worked in rail since 1987. Never really had any part of my adult life where I've done not shiftwork so any attempts at regular social activities go nowhere.
I won't stop shiftwork until I retire, which will be when I'm 65 or older. Currently I'm 57.
The third main one is my 8 y/o daughter. She's my priority as my adult kids (from first relationship) are adults.
So basically I don't have money to be social or time to be social. Plus I'm very introverted, neuro-spicy, etc.
In effect it all means my social confidence is low, and I'm especially fearful of any situation where potential for meeting people in circumstances where romantic interest is high since I can't do approaches and would dread being approached.
I still have a positive, happy, enjoyable, fulfilling life. Just with minimum human social interaction and things that can flow from that (like dating and relationship connections).
Most of you will be far in the opposite direction of socialising and social confidence, and that's really great if you are. I bet plenty of people share similarities to my situation in varying degrees. Fear of socialising and lack of social confidence is something considered taboo in lots of situations.
One is that almost all the people I know (basically people at my work) are coupled and there's a subset of work people who are regularly social with their partners.
As I'm single, I would feel very out of place going out with people from my work since I'd be by myself and they'd all have their partners and they'd all be doing 'couples stuff'.
The other main one is my shiftwork. I've been a railway shiftworker since 1990, worked in rail since 1987. Never really had any part of my adult life where I've done not shiftwork so any attempts at regular social activities go nowhere.
I won't stop shiftwork until I retire, which will be when I'm 65 or older. Currently I'm 57.
The third main one is my 8 y/o daughter. She's my priority as my adult kids (from first relationship) are adults.
So basically I don't have money to be social or time to be social. Plus I'm very introverted, neuro-spicy, etc.
In effect it all means my social confidence is low, and I'm especially fearful of any situation where potential for meeting people in circumstances where romantic interest is high since I can't do approaches and would dread being approached.
I still have a positive, happy, enjoyable, fulfilling life. Just with minimum human social interaction and things that can flow from that (like dating and relationship connections).
Most of you will be far in the opposite direction of socialising and social confidence, and that's really great if you are. I bet plenty of people share similarities to my situation in varying degrees. Fear of socialising and lack of social confidence is something considered taboo in lots of situations.
