Things will take time to heal,try to increase your social circle by making friends whom you can consult.If you like,you may PM me.

It sounds to me like you have accomplished a great deal by overcoming so many setbacks in your life, while also being a mother which is the most difficult job there is. What you have been through would have defeated many people, but not you. You obviously care a great deal for your kids and are working extremely hard to give them a good life. Be proud of what you have overcome so you can have a fresh start. Thirty may seem old, but believe me it is not. You have decades ahead of you to enjoy with your kids.

A community would help you a lot. Some people go to church not only because they searching for God. but they are looking for salvation and hope.

You are in your own personal hell. A community of people you choose who can uplift you, have support for your family which includes financial, educational, family , babysitting, dating, and spiritual would benefit you and plenty of ways.

No one can save you and your children but you at this point.

Never give up.

Stop knocking yourself
It has not been easy for you, nobody to help you!
You have made a big change in life so keep going forward
You work hard and want to improve.
That’s positive !
Take it step by step

Sorry to hear that you are having a rough time, but things can only get better.

how many kids and what are their ages? are they schooling? Do you have a regular source of income ?

Sounds like you need time off.
If you are able, you should take a few days off

hi wanna chat messge me in my inbox😇