Is anyone else like this?

I'm anti social/ or wanna be by myself when I'm around others ,

But extremely lonely when I'm by myself,
I'm so stupid, that I'm an introvert gamer that prefers solo games too ,

And because I'm autistic, this shitty ass cycle is all I cope with when I try to change xD.

Im actually pretty lucky to have a lot of friends to talk to or message, but few that I'm super close to .

Can't wait till I can get another job so I can be bloody social again lol (had a temporary covid related job )

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HootyTheNightOwl

Could the problem be related to your autism???

I know that some autistic people go into overload when certain situations become too much for them... so I'm thinking that you may be trying to ignore your body's "I've had enough" signals and forcing yourself to be social for longer than you are comfortable with.

Starting out small and building up is probably a better option for you.