Fathers day

Today is fathers day which means this is the day my dad pretends hes ever given a shit about me. My mom says he loves me but he doesn't, he stopped loving me when I turned 13. I wish he did, even before i was too old it still felt like I needed to earn it. He was never here. Well, he didnt "leave" he just wasn't....here? Like All the time before we moved and now I have to pretend it didnt affect me bc i just wanted my dad. And when he was home he ignored me. He still does so he can pretend hes perfect, that were perfect. He hates that i like girls, he hates me. And I just want my dad but I never had him.