I Have Had a Panic Attack
Because I try to blog as much as possible about my journey on here...
30 minutes ago I just had a panic attack in front of my family. It was over something immature as my eldest brother started talking very rudely to my father which I couldn't see. Then randomly started to verbally abuse me. He told me how I'm worthless and how I will never become a lawyer.
I just burst out crying and I was breathless as I was struggling to stop crying. I started sweating ( which my brother and eldest sister started laughing at, they're are in their late 20's). My brother also told me to stop 'faking it' and 'how will I never become sucessful if I can't handle this'. He mentioned how I never study (which I do) and never help around the house (which I also do). He also mentioned how I'm unemployed so I have no right to talk in this house. I have anxiety. I can't even think about working in public.. It's the fact someone telling you that you're worthless all the time, it hurts.
On top of everything that I am going through, bringing someone down more especially if it is coming from a family member makes you feel torn apart.
I've calmed down now, it took me about 15 minutes to start breathing properly again. My eldest sister came to me and said ' you need help, you're ridiculously insane'. Then starts laughing.
Living in a household where mental health is brushed under the carpet and putting people down is a difficult environment to cope with.
I haven't visited my GP regarding my mental health. I feel anxious going. However, after today, I believe I must go tomorrow. Or talk to a mental health charity on the phone.
I feel so worn out. I've not been attending my classes all week nor do i intend to go tomorrow.
Meeeeemzi
30 minutes ago I just had a panic attack in front of my family. It was over something immature as my eldest brother started talking very rudely to my father which I couldn't see. Then randomly started to verbally abuse me. He told me how I'm worthless and how I will never become a lawyer.
I just burst out crying and I was breathless as I was struggling to stop crying. I started sweating ( which my brother and eldest sister started laughing at, they're are in their late 20's). My brother also told me to stop 'faking it' and 'how will I never become sucessful if I can't handle this'. He mentioned how I never study (which I do) and never help around the house (which I also do). He also mentioned how I'm unemployed so I have no right to talk in this house. I have anxiety. I can't even think about working in public.. It's the fact someone telling you that you're worthless all the time, it hurts.
On top of everything that I am going through, bringing someone down more especially if it is coming from a family member makes you feel torn apart.
I've calmed down now, it took me about 15 minutes to start breathing properly again. My eldest sister came to me and said ' you need help, you're ridiculously insane'. Then starts laughing.
Living in a household where mental health is brushed under the carpet and putting people down is a difficult environment to cope with.
I haven't visited my GP regarding my mental health. I feel anxious going. However, after today, I believe I must go tomorrow. Or talk to a mental health charity on the phone.
I feel so worn out. I've not been attending my classes all week nor do i intend to go tomorrow.
Meeeeemzi
