Where to express my panic .

I gave much money to girl , because she said she will love me all life , she vow to be with me all life .

In love , I spent lots of money on her . I m still paying the loan of it .

Now she is breaking up , because she is not happy with me that I m not going to Uk .
She wishes for a guy who is living for all life in Britain .
And if I have lots of money , I will spend it on useful activities , than spending it all to go to Uk . So I had told her to find british guys ,
but she was already doing it .


However I feel panic of the large sum I had spent on her , she will just move on with it .
I paid her college fees when she cried for it , buyed her things when she complained , and other things .
Now she will find other guy , and move on with them , but I m still paying the loan that I took to fulfil her things .

It stresses me because she had refused to give any money back , while she may fall in love to another guy , I m still paying the loan that I took to fulfil her things .