Releasing the pain ..
My mother manipulated me...
when I was in Delhi she called me so many times and kept asking when I will come back to home , saying she misses me and etc etc.. I thought that she is love bombing me but still got excited to be home...
I arrived at 3 morning. and She had a trip on 4 afternoon.. when I arrived I really expected something lovely waiting for me ... but there wasn't much.. nothing was cooked also.. but it was early morning so it's understandable.. I still felt nice to be back home.
Then next day she went away to trip .. and actually I was called home only so that my father can get food.. he don't cook on his own. and he can but my mother don't think it's nice for him to cook . so I am cooking for him daily. I have shoulder pain due to some problems.. yet I cook daily twice for him ..
and today as I was cooking all numbed and drained I just remember how lovebombed my mother made me when I was in Delhi.. and how everytime my mother goes for a trip , she goes a lot btw I am only called to cook at home becoz my rest of siblings are quite far away from home ... and it makes me numb.. in fact there was festival Holi during March but my mother insisted that I don't come to home during Holi because then I won't be able to come to home in April and it's better to come in April when there will be no one at home and my only purpose would be to cook food..
I wish this was not true..
I wish I had loving parents.
because these parents don't love me.. and I don't love them either.
I am not coming back home soon .
when I was in Delhi she called me so many times and kept asking when I will come back to home , saying she misses me and etc etc.. I thought that she is love bombing me but still got excited to be home...
I arrived at 3 morning. and She had a trip on 4 afternoon.. when I arrived I really expected something lovely waiting for me ... but there wasn't much.. nothing was cooked also.. but it was early morning so it's understandable.. I still felt nice to be back home.
Then next day she went away to trip .. and actually I was called home only so that my father can get food.. he don't cook on his own. and he can but my mother don't think it's nice for him to cook . so I am cooking for him daily. I have shoulder pain due to some problems.. yet I cook daily twice for him ..
and today as I was cooking all numbed and drained I just remember how lovebombed my mother made me when I was in Delhi.. and how everytime my mother goes for a trip , she goes a lot btw I am only called to cook at home becoz my rest of siblings are quite far away from home ... and it makes me numb.. in fact there was festival Holi during March but my mother insisted that I don't come to home during Holi because then I won't be able to come to home in April and it's better to come in April when there will be no one at home and my only purpose would be to cook food..
I wish this was not true..
I wish I had loving parents.
because these parents don't love me.. and I don't love them either.
I am not coming back home soon .
