Grief has to turn into anger at some point.

I think it is just another stage towards acceptance. I think it makes is easier to accept fate if we find someone to blame for it.

Reading some anecdotes online from my cultural community, about people who fought to be with their partners for years before getting to be together finally, makes me feel he didn't wait enough.

He wanted to settle down, start a family. He loves children. It makes me feel that the idea of marriage was more important to him than us being together. And that hurts me.

Not that I didn't hurt him either. I made him wait 2 years, then he had to tolerate my parents' harsh criticism over and over to the point he lost so much weight it made him weak and nauseous, and he lost all his sleep. He would be sick frequently. It was the most horrible 2 years of his life.

Maybe he was really better off leaving, for his mental health.

I asked him to wait more.
He said it was unreasonable.

He had to leave.

I showed him all these stories of other people who stuck around for years against all odds. I told him it takes time.

He just couldn't wait. His family was now upset as well.

He had to go.

But in my mind it's always that maybeeeeee if he would stick around then we could do something about it over the years.
Maybeeeee it would work out of he would wait a couple more years?

Okay. I shall go back now and try to study.

Thanks for hanging out in this post.