I miss him so

I wish this were a nightmare and I'd wake up already.
October 18th will be 3 full months since he died, and it still doesn't seem real.
My world seems too quiet and too small now
Most of this morning I slept, just didn't feel like participating or going out in the world.
This old house creaks and groans, and I forget and think it's him coming home from his night shift.
I realize pretty quickly that it is not to be, and he'll never be back.
But it happens almost every night.
Just a split second of thinking it is him downstairs, puttering around, and then in an instant, I know.
Grieving has its own timetable, I used to say how right I was, but never knew until now how true.